My simple question to you is that in a husband and wife relationship, are there things that they can force on each other, my wife was having an argument with me, that no one is allowed to force anyone(adult) in Islam, to which i disagreed. My view point was that there are things that I can force on you to do, and similarly there area things you can force on me being my wife, the argument started with “hijab” (not in the literal sense), i just asked her to take a “chaadar”(shawl) and wrap herself whenever she goes out in market or other place where there are “na-mehrum” men. I didn’t force her for that, I just asked her to check in hadith too and take only if she thinks if I am right. I want your help, please clarify me on this issue, if i can force (verbally of course) my wife for stuff, for that “pardah” in particular. I love her and I do not want to fight with her that is why I am asking you to guide me (WITH REFERENCE of Hadith or Quran in ur reply). If I am not allowed to do so, tell me what should I do when I feel sad and bad for my helpless situation, whenever she goes out.
Answer
I think normally husband and wife should correct each other politely. That is what you gather from the Quranic guidance. Believing men and believing women are supporters of each other: “They exhort each other to do good and to refrain from evil.” The Almighty exhorts husbands to “live with them (their wives) in a good (pleasant) way.” The Quran also desires that we invite others towards path of our Lord intelligently.
Having said all the above, it is important that the wife should not behave in a manner that amounts to revolt (nushuz).
I think, in the matters you have referred to you should keep urging your wife every now and then politely, without irritating her. Try to create an atmosphere of discussion and not of fierce debate on such issues. And more significantly, pray for her.