There seems to be a very strong attitude against the feelings of love being preached in this forum. I openly admit that illegitimate relations, especially of the physical kind and even of the intense verbal kind, are forbidden in Islam until marriage. But how could the concept of love become forbidden? What is the protocol for marriage if we are never to love someone? Are you implying that we should merely go after physical attributes then? Or that the average person is compatible with the majority of the rest of the population? I have had these questions for quite some time yet no one to answer them. How do we judge the people we are to marry, or even decide – for that matter – if we want to, if the factor of love is completely ruled out, and relations of any type are forbidden?
Answer
I have to mention opinions in this site that I think are Islamically correct. I believe that extra-marital romance between a man and a woman is un-Islamic – that’s why you find that my site criticizes it. I believe that when a stranger (non-Mahram) man and woman come close to each other frequently, there is a serious possibility of zina (fornication and adultery) emerging out of that contact. Examples of such incidents are so replete that one can deny them only if one wants to close one’s eyes from reality. Even if zina is not the ultimate outcome, the contact does affect the normal feelings of the individual and evil thoughts swarm one’s mind. Once you allow your mind to be influenced by the thoughts of a woman (or a man) who doesn’t have Islamically legal relations with you, your soul begins to degenerate and your spiritual contact with God Almighty is negatively affected.
The following are some of verses and ahadith that have helped me in forming the above opinion:
“And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way.” (17:32)
“Enjoin the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that is chaster for them. Surely Allah is well aware of their actions. Likewise enjoin the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; not to display their beauty and ornaments except what normally appears thereof; let them draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their charms except to their husbands,their fathers, their fathers-in-law, their own sons, their stepsons, their own brothers, their nephews on either brothers’ or sisters’ sides, their own womenfolk, their own slaves, male attendants who lack sexual desires or small children who have no carnal knowledge of women. Also enjoin them not to strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden trinkets. And O believers! Turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, about your past mistakes, so that you may attain salvation.” (24:30-31)
Narrated Abdullah bin Abbas: “Al-Fadl (his brother) was riding behind Allah’s Apostle and a woman from the tribe of Khath’am came and Al-Fadl started looking at her and she started looking at him. The Prophet turned Al-Fadl’s face to the other side.” (Bukhari)
Narrated Ibn Abbas: “That he heard the Prophet saying, ‘ It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman, and no lady should travel except with a Muhram (i.e. her husband or a person whom she cannot marry in any case for ever; e.g. her father, brother, etc.).’ Then a man got up and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I have enlisted in the army for such-and-such ghazwa and my wife is proceeding for Hajj.’ Allah’s Apostle said, ‘ Go, and perform the Hajj with your wife.'”