I have a question to ask regarding my parents. My father spent the larger part of his life working abroad or working in places away from home, which ultimately created distance between him and his children and spouse. My mother took care of us during our upbringing despite of difficulties and family politics.
For last 4 to 5 years my father decided to quit working and returned home, now he’s not used to family life. Secondly my father turned 70 last year and my mother is slightly younger than him. For the last many months we are facing great difficulty in getting along him, he insults us and even uses bad words for our mother and us. He makes fun of us along with family members who are against us or keeping grudges due to variety of reasons, which cannot be detailed here.
Now my questions are:
1. How should the children behave under these circumstances in light of Quran and Sunnah?
2. We don’t mind if he’s rash with us, but what we can do to protect our mother, she is a heart patient too?
3. I want to take my mother to some other place, but she’s not agreeing to it, I don’t understand what to do in this scenario?
Answer
I am sure the situation is difficult for you. However, as a good believer, you must face it as a trial of life. After the entire life, with all its good and bad conditions, is a trial.
Your father owes you respect as indeed your mother does. Of course, your mother deserves more of your attention than your father. However, you cannot ignore and abandon your father. What you need to do is to keep telling your mother to not be disturbed by what your father is doing. If you all learn to remain patient when your father is insulting you, you never know, he might change. Try to help him understand your problems when he is in a good mood. Try to be close to him too. After all, he is your father. I would encourage you to earn your father’s sympathy. Don’t give him an impression that you are party against him. May be, his attitude might change.
The most important thing is that you should pray for your parents and the improvement of your home atmosphere. Insha’Allah, things would improve.