Being the only daughter after three sons, I’ve always had a friend in my mother. She has always been more a friend to me than a mother, as a result of which, I take such liberties with her, as expressing my anger when I’m upset without any restraint, casually asking her to bring me a glass of water, teasing her, etc.
About a month before, I heard somewhere that we shouldn’t treat our parents like our servants. That has been pricking me and I am very concerned. I’ve been trying since to treat her with politeness and respect, as you would an elder and not a friend, but it doesn’t seem to work. We get awkward and I feel lonely now.
Please help me. I am very much worried. Will Allah punish me for this?
Answer
It’s good to be friendly with one’s parents. However, one must not lose respect of them as parents even while behaving with them as friends. There are friends with whom we can sometimes afford to be rude; parents are the kind of friends we can’t be rude with at all. In case we are rude with them, we must seek forgiveness from them immediately and ask the Almighty too to forgive us. There is a thin line that demarcates our behavior with parents and friends. That line, however, is very important to maintain. I am sure if
you keep your conscience alive while dealing with your parents, you would know when you are transgressing the boundary of respect.
You don’t need to stop being friendly with your mother. But be careful in not insulting her. I would say, have a look at some of the things you say to her which don’t make you feel very comfortable. Try something different instead; try something that is more decent and yet not too serious. Allah Almighty looks at your intentions and He is very forgiving. Don’t do anything wrong intentionally.